


I Want To Tell You I Love You

by ythmir



Category: Midnight Cinderella
Genre: Angst, F/M, Pain, i dont want to spoil okay, painful, so im gonna tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-19 00:26:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13693005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ythmir/pseuds/ythmir
Summary: Written in his perspective. Leo tells you how he feels about you while recounting significant memories.





	I Want To Tell You I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> requested by another friend. Also, another piece i am proud of.
> 
> (with this i have finished importing all my published fanfics. from hereon out, i will publish first on tumblr followed by publishing on ao3, with links on my tumblr pointing here)  
> (it just seems i have more of an audience here than on tumblr too tho. i like being able to share my works with more people:) )
> 
> (as per usual, please indulge me with your time / comments and critiques are highly appreciated / and of course, spare some ko-fi if you can please)

The truth of the matter is, I could not tell you if I loved you the first time I saw you.

Or if it was the second, or the third, or the fourth. Or all the times I saw you.

I cannot tell you if it was the blush in your ears as your name was called that fateful day, or the way you stammered, disbelief and shock painted on your face. “A commoner,” you asked, “being chosen as princess elect?” Your eyes had been wide; hesitation and doubt mixing to create what I can only describe as a kind of skepticism that was refreshing to see. “Impossible.” You breathed, disbelieving even as you were led out of the ballroom to what would be your new quarters.

Giles only laughed, dismissing your protests. He was the first one to address you as princess. He saw something in you. He must have. Otherwise he wouldn’t have bothered with all the trouble.

I could not tell you if I loved you the second time I saw you.

I was to tutor you and I remember feeling somewhat shy at being the subject of your wide-eyed gaze. You always did look at things with too much focus, as if you were always waiting for a revelation from the gods. And for a moment I wondered if you saw through me the way others never had.

You were eager, but apprehensive. Erudite, but self-doubting a third of the time. You had a way with words and you tucked a little book of poetry in your pocket just before we finished. You answered all my questions correctly. I wish I had just broken through all pretense and kissed you then and there.

I could not tell you if I loved you the third time I saw you.

You had stumbled your way through Duke Howard’s lessons, but only for the first few times. You were a quick learner when it came to dancing, your feet matching Louis’ with only just a handful of mistakes. I watched as you twirled and swayed and stopped and started again. I had to force a smile when you told me that dance lessons were the highlight of your day.

You remembered the town festivals, you explained. And you told me that you missed going out and about as you pleased. Now, my brother watches you like a hawk and Giles never lets you go unaccompanied. My smile was real when I had offered to sneak you out. And my respect only grew when you declined. You really were the smart one. I wish now that I listened to you more.I

I could not tell you if I loved you the fourth time I saw you.

As we walked towards the library, you told me about your poems, about how you wrote whenever time permitted. As I read them, you revealed to me that you were a tutor too back when your life was simpler. The way you spoke of it, it felt as if it were lifetimes ago. You had only gone to the palace to search for a flower for a student. You had not meant to wander. You had not meant to scale the walls and be caught by my brother. You had not meant to get tangled in a scheme three decades in the making to protect a crown and a throne that you had no interest in. Your eyes had glistened as you remembered.

I told you your poems were beautiful. You cried in my arms.

I could not tell you if I loved you all the times I saw you.

You clasped your hands behind your back when you were unsure, and always tucked your hair behind your ear when you felt confident. And you were confident about a lot of things.

Passion.

Forgiveness.

Love.

And you were confident whenever you held me when I woke up from my nighmares. And you were confident whenever we spent sleepless nights bunkered in with our books and coffee. And you were confident when you looked at me with your wide-eyed gaze and told me, “They will forgive you.”

As if you knew what was keeping me up at night. As if you knew me and understood and saw through me the way others never had.

“Alyn won’t.” I had said.

And you laughed and shook your head and called me stubborn. “Idiot. He already has.“

I cannot tell you when it was that I started loving you.

You believed in a tomorrow. You held your head high despite unforgiving circumstances. You believed that better things are always yet to come. You had hope. You had smiles.You had your poems and your words and your wide-eyed gaze that was always expectant of good in others. You had the world in your grasp.

And yet you trembled, despite tucking your hair behind your ear, as you offered your entire world to me.

The truth of the matter is, I could not tell you if I loved you the first time I saw you. Or the second. Or the third. Or all the times I saw you.

I cannot tell when it was that I started loving you.

Because the truth of the matter is, I never had.


End file.
